Been A Long Time …

Been a long time since I wrote about anything of import here. Not like I’ve been too busy. More like I’ve been holding my breath waiting for the sky to fall. The other shoe to drop. The pleasantly plump lady to sing. Or some other cliche of finality or doom. Doom? Okay maybe a bit over the top … but not too far off.

I’ve shut my mouth. I’ve hidden myself away. I have little to no contact with the human race — outside of grocery shopping and doctor visits. Wait …. am I in COVID lockdown mode without the COVID? Close but no cigar.

There are a multitude of reasons for my reclusively. Health, wealth (or lack there of—read debt), I just don’t have the energy or the will right now.

Yeah. I know. Only you can prevent forrest fires.

But hey — Smokey. Sometime we all need little help from our friends. Got a match?

Maybe on a metaphoric level I need to burn everything to the ground myself. The country is surely crispy, or at least well on its way. Are we all par-char-broiled with the flame on high? All I know is that feeling of numbness and futility coming from being burned too frequently.

I know. I’m whining. But hear me out …. 😝

We all have to let loose. Jettison the mental flotsam and jetsam of daily life we cling to inside our protective bubble. If not … we are more fucked than I’d care to think about.

This whole thing is just mental masturbation. Venting of toxic thought in the blackness of space outside my bubble. It’s all one big metaphor.

It’s 2026. I’m seven days away from my 69th birthday. How the fuck did that happen? Wasn’t I youngster, a pre-post-punk wannabe just yesterday? Time flies: Even if there aren’t enough trained air traffic controllers these days.

I hereby resolve: no 2026 resolutions. My only resolution(?) is to get through another day here in IndeMO. Day by day. One day at a time.

May will be my fourth year here. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know that I care. My health has been shit which makes me more anti-social & depressed. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

I have no clue what 2026 will bring. I’m not sure what I even want it to bring; other than the 🍊💩 to be im🍑ed. A boy can dream … yes?

My biggest thing is to try to find joy somewhere. Tall order these day. I’m not even sure what would bring me happiness except for hugging my two fur balls: Rocco & Rudie. Furry Prozac to the rescue!

There has to be something more. No? Yes? Even creeping up to 69 … I still have no clue. How can that be? Where do I find motivation? How do I find happiness? Is it still even possible? All this & more (or less) in 2026.

Stay tuned.